I hope this letter finds you enjoying the end of your summer and looking forward to a healthy and invigorating September.

The process of looking for love can be quite daunting; especially if social or performance anxiety is present. I am pleased to invite you to a special forum I will be moderating on “Dating and Relationship Anxiety”. It is located at www.lookingforlove.com – a free dating and relationship website. There is no cost to participate in either the website or my forum. You can access the forum my clicking on Forums on the top menu. I will be moderating the forum “Dating and Relationship Anxiety“.

If you would like to gain insight into the issues of people who are starting or building relationships this forum may prove useful. Discover what hundreds of other people with social anxiety are doing to meet prospective partners and to manage their anxiety so it does not interfere with relationship building.

This is a wonderful opportunity to improve your social milieu. You can choose to actively participate in the forum or just observe. The choice is yours at www.lookingforlove.com.

In addition to anxiety, the “social pecking order” dynamic  can inhibit happiness if realistic expectations are not present.

Do the following exercise from my comprehensive self-therapy audio cd program:

The world is not fair! It maybe wonderful, but it is not fair. Many people with social anxiety have difficulty accepting this reality.

In any social society there is a hierarchy or pecking order. Clarifying your expectations regarding this hierarchy can be a valuable skill.

The following are many of the variables that determine ones position in the “social pecking order”. This list is not in any systematic order. Please feel free to add your own variables to the list:

Physical Image  •  Religion  • Personality  • Family •  Academic Experience  • Career
Intellectual Intelligence  •  Emotional Intelligence  •  Culture •  Personal Interests
Geographic Location   •   Financial Status  •  Social Skills

Use your logic and objectivity. Eliminate emotion for a moment. Rate your current position in the hierarchy on a scale from 1-10. 10 is the highest. 1 is the lowest.

What is your number?
What is the number of the person you wish to develop a relationship with?

What emotion/s are you experiencing as you work this exercise? If anger or frustration, learn to channel these emotions into productive energy!