Self-esteem is the core issue in social and performance anxiety. It is important to consider the difference between a person who says, “I have lost three battles” from the one who says, “I am a loser”.

Failure has more to do with one’s self-concept than one’s actual unsuccessful experiences.

The person who suffers from social or performance anxiety misinterprets unsuccessful experiences. Not winning, making mistakes, rejection, and failing at something are too often interpreted as a flaw, or an no the core of the person’s being. Unresolved, uncomfortable emotions from the past are activated by “performance” challenges.

Do you think that great homerun hitters like Babe Ruth, Hank Aaron, Roger Maris, or Barry Bonds are remembered for their strikeouts? As great a basketball player as Michael Jordan is, he missed many more shots than he made. Surely Mick Jagger and Tina Turner missed a few notes in their time. Surely Bill Gates made a few mistakes…

Self-esteem is a sense of liking yourself, liking how you relate to others, feeling personally secure, and not having to prove your manhood or womanhood with external symbols.

Self-esteem Scale

The self-esteem scale below measures how highly you value yourself.

In the past three months indicate how much each of the statements represents the way you think or feel about yourself:

Very Much Somewhat Not Very Much Never I minimize my abilities 3 2 1 0 I expect others to fault my work 3 2 1 0 I wish I were someone else 3 2 1 0 I make demands on myself that I would not make on others 3 2 1 0 When I succeed I don’t think I deserve it 3 2 1 0 I like who I am 0 1 2 3 Under pressure I expect things to go wrong 3 2 1 0 I blame myself when things do not work the way I expect 3 2 1 0 Scoring Healthy Fair Guarded Unhealthy Score 0-6 7-10 11-15 16+