Selective mutism is a form of social phobia and a specific variation of obsessive compulsive disorder. The primary symptom is the individual’s inability to speak in specific situations. This condition characterizes society’s confusion with social anxiety, as the typical mantra from professionals and parents is “leave the kid alone; he/she is just shy and will grow out of it”. Approximately 7 out of 1000 children have the problem and there is very little effective help available worldwide. The reality is the anxiety worsens over time and becomes more integrated into the personality. The more the mutism is unresolved, the more potential there is for anger and rage because these individuals become more dependent on caregivers and less self-reliant. Often; parents describe their selectively mute child with “He/she doesn’t talk but they are happy”. Often the child smiles during a mute interaction. This is frequently mis-interpreted as happiness. Please be aware. This smile is a characteristic of detachment!

SM children experience helplessness in many verbal performance scenarios. This dynamic can translate into toxic self-esteem. The children become adolescents and the adolescents become adults. For those who are comfortable with the belief that the child will grow out of the problem, please listen to Mike, one of the many SM adults with whom I have worked.

As one parent of an SM child said to me; “how dare you say that shyness and selective mutism can be connected to mass murder; my child is sweet and sensitive”. I have no doubt that her child was sweet and sensitive, but that does not stop the psycho-dynamic of anger and rage from evolving. Another parent said regarding his 6 yr. old with SM “I don’t want my daughter to think there’s anything wrong with her that she can’t fit into society”. This child never spoke a word in school. In my opinion, society needs to evolve from its’ denial and resistance regarding social anxiety and avoidance to a more functional understanding and more productive treatment.

The silver lining is that selective mutism presents an opportunity for early intervention for social phobia, avoidant personality disorder, narcissistic tendencies, and possible prevention for violence.

It has been especially gratifying in my work to experience the selectively mute child evolve to empowerment!

Texting has replaced talking as the most common form of communication. This reality inhibits the development of the neural pathways required for verbal communication on a societal level. My instinct says that selective mutism will increase. As society becomes more dependent on technology, social skills are more at risk!

Consider the following quote from Albert Einstein:

“I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots.”