If you are a parent concerned about a dependent of any age with social anxiety It is absolutely essential for you to understand that while there are many different manifestations of social anxiety there are basically two types of people who have the problem. One is the individual who is capable of initiative. The other is not. Initiative does not mean ability. It means to “start up”. No children are capable of initiative. 99% of teenagers are not. Many adults are overly dependent on their caregivers and, therefore are not capable of initiative.

Therefore; when problems such as selective mutism , avoidant and dependent personality problems at any age,  and pervasive adult social phobia are present,  it’s imperative for parents to realize , that as caregivers  you need to  restructure enabling behavior and thinking into an empowering process or it is very unlikely resolution to the problem will occur. This is because sustained enabling creates pathology homeostasis.

The biggest mistake that is made regarding social anxiety is to believe that the child who is “shy” or socially avoidant will simply grow out of the problem. This is not the case. The problem gets worse with time. The reality is that healing occurs when the person learns their way out of the problem. When dependents of any age do not have initiative for healing, the parents have two choices. One is to learn how to empower the child to healing. The other is to do nothing, which is “enabling” the problem.

As a parent, you have a lot of power to help your child heal: whether your child is 6, 16, or, 26. The earlier that parents learn a corrective parenting strategy for the socially anxious dependent, the easier therapeutic objectives can be reached; the anxiety has less of a chance to work its way into the personality and create avoidant and dependent characteristics!

Understand that time is your most valuable asset. Taking action is imperative for resolving the problem!