If you want to change, or if you are concerned about a family member,  it’s crucial to understand that the term shyness is often communicated as an abstract and generalized concept, the use of which, if not understood clinically, can actually “enable” the problem. The reality is that “shyness” is social anxiety. The question is to what degree is it present.

It’s important to be objective about the statement “Don’t worry. He/she is just and will grow out of it.”

Since 1978, in working with thousands of people of all ages who can relate to the term “shy”, it has become very clear realize that “shyness” is too general to be of much help in identifying a problem and solving it. The actual response to the stress of interaction is called social anxiety. Social anxiety manifests itself across a broad spectrum of interactive behavior; from mild nervousness to social phobia. When social anxiety results in avoidance a social phobiais present.

When an individual understands the phenomenon of shyness in terms of behavior, cognition, emotion, and physiology, there is more potential to control it. Think of “FATE”.

F = Function (physiology)

A = Action (behavior)

T = Thinking (cognition)

E = Emotion 

Click here to listen to interviews with real people who have resolved “shyness”.