| “Tip
of The Month Club” More on Selective Mutism and Anxiety/Dependency from Jonathan Berent July 4th is gone; now the summer is really upon you. Parents; it's a good bet that you are stepping away from certain issues which are more pressing during the school year. Yes, the summer can be a wonderful and sometimes, magical time! A productive question to ask is “will my child be ready for school in September and will the school be ready for him/her”? In about six-seven weeks school will be a reality again. In most cases parents need to teach/advocate schools regarding healing their SM and socially anxious children. It's not the other way around. Do you use your most valuable asset in life (time) proactively or passively (during the summer) to deal with your parenting challenges (and school issues)? If you take action now much could be accomplished by the start of school. Did you ever see the movie Titanic? It was not the tip of the iceberg that sank the ship. It was what was below the surface. Analogously, with selective mutism, the tip of the iceberg is the mutism; what is beneath the surface is the real problem. Beneath the surface is a syndrome of dynamics including: attitude, thinking, and the emotional and physiological components of anxiety. “Processing” challenges may be present. In addition the avoidance-dependence syndrome is absolutely crucial to understand if the problem is to be resolved. Selective Mutism is a structural problem. It is social phobia. It is a precursor for more social anxiety issues. It is resolveable! Many parents and caregivers of SM children are overwhelmed with the problem; many do not believe there is an answer. Many believe the child will simply grow out of it. After all, well meaning and clueless professionals often instill this belief in their patients. Most schools are brought to their knees by SM students and meet the problem head on with “enabling” (that's negative) behavior. Non-productive and dangerous use of pharmaceuticals is rampant! These issues are why I have created a free CD for you. You can hear excerpts from 5 interviews with patients/families where Selective Mutism has been resolved. This CD is one of a kind. Do your research and you will agree that this offer exists nowhere else. To order the free CD please click here. This free offer also comes with a free Social-ability Profile, free “Parent Addiction Quiz”, and free “parental Guidelines”. Since 1978 my staff and I have worked with many thousands of individuals of all ages with social and performance anxiety, and related problems. I have seen just about everything; countless variations of problems; from total cures, to the problem being permanent and many different degrees of success in between. Other free CDs with excerpts from interviews with patients who have resolved their problems are available : Fear of Public Speaking, Fear of Blushing, Fear of Intimacy, and School Phobia. A comprehensive self-help education is available in my book “Beyond Shyness: How to Conquer Social Anxieties” (Simon & Schuster 1992). Click here to order. Hundreds of selectively mute patients later, I have learned that parents have tremendous power to help their child resolve the problem; if they are ready to do some hard work. In fact; building on a Chinese proverb which says “crisis breeds opportunity”, the good thing about selective mutism is the fact that it clearly, without a doubt, shows the presence of social phobia at an early age. This creates the opportunity to challenge the anxiety before it insidiously works its way into the personality; creating avoidance and dependence characteristics! Indeed, the average age of my almost 10,000 patients since 1978 has been 27. We are getting great results with the following self-help media : “Selective Mutism Tele-Seminar on Audio CD”. This is good for caregivers and professionals. In addition, the “Self-Help Audio CD for Parents of Selectively Mute Children” is the state of the art and science self- help approach for this problem. The strategies inherent in these programs have been refined since 1978! While there are many variations of social anxiety, there are two basic types of people who have the problem; those with “initiative” and those without “initiative”. “Initiative” does not mean “ability”. It means to”start up” (as with the healing process). For example my many high- achieving, high-performance oriented professionals with public speaking anxiety have” initiative”. The countless numbers of 20 + year olds with no social lives who are overly dependent on parents usually do not have “initiative”. When a social anxiety sufferer has no “initiative” caregivers have two options: 1. Learn how to compensate for the dependent's lack of “initiative” by learning a therapeutic “gameplan”, or 2. Do nothing, which will “enable” the problem. Openings for therapy at Berent Associates are quite limited. The next most productive option is the Comprehensive Self-Therapy Audio CD Program . It is for adults and teens with “initiative”. It is for parents of individuals of all ages without “initiative”. It is a high impact 10 hour experience. It is for people who, for whatever reason, are unable to commit themselves to the process of therapy. Order before July 25, 2006 and you will receive a free copy of the book: “Beyond Shyness: How to Conquer Social Anxieties”. ($21.95 value) Postage will also be free . You may use this offer in conjunction with any other code. You must use code #400. Click here to order. I wish you a time- productive, healthy, and happy summer. Jonathan Berent, L.C.S.W.
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